This is the reason...

As I'm doing last minute preparations to leave for the weekend to walk in the Steps of Hope walk to raise awareness for Autism, I keep looking at this picture. This picture here is the whole reason I put all my extra free time, and energy into raising awareness for Autism. Anytime Brock asks for comfort I drop whatever I'm doing for sometimes 10 seconds of being able to hold him. When I became a mom I never imagined that this would be my reality, especially after having genetic testing done (due to pregnancy problems) and having nothing show up..and after the doctor laid this miracle on my chest for the first time..(because that's what each and every child born into this world is, a miraculous gift from God) and announced he had ten fingers, ten toes and was healthy as could be. The first year of Brock's life he was hitting milestones faster than most children, according to his doctors. When Brock turned one that slowly started to change. It was so subtle at first I didn't notice it right away, but by the time he was three years old he wasn't able to do things he previously was. I brought it up constantly to his doctor and was told that preschool aged children act out, three is worse than the terrible twos, and he'd eventually outgrow it. I knew in my heart his doctor was wrong, call it mothers intuition or whatever. There was a lot of waiting over the next few years until April 2014 we got the answers to all of our questions, after many tests were done by therapists. High functioning Autism or Aspergers depending which therapist you talk to. Brock rarely seeks comfort or affection out on his own and this day he was having a very rough day and said to me, "Mom can you please just hold me tight." And I held him harder than I've ever been able to hold him before. That was a few weeks ago, and he hasn't let me hold him as long as this, and that's ok, but he has laid on me for a few minutes here and there since. There are so many reasons to raise awareness, and this picture is one small, but very important part of it. People with Autism want love and affection just as much as the next person but don't always know how to ask for it. Brock has been able to get therapies through school, and out of school and they are very intense at times, for the past few months. Through these therapies he's been making so many improvements such as being able to recognize letters, sound out words, he's been working on perfecting writing his name, and his conversational skills especially have improved tremendously. He's able to tell me when he's mad, sad or even happy at times. There will likely be times he regresses, but that's all a part of this. Chances are he'll need these therapies throughout his life. Starting therapies at a younger age gives an even greater chance for these individuals to live an independent life. Making sure these other children who aren't as fortunate as Brock to have access to these therapies is and should be a top priority. We all want to see children succeed in their lives, and raising awareness and knocking out these ridiculous stigmas surrounding Autism spectrum disorders is number one. These aren't bad or spoiled children, these are children who can't communicate what they really need or want, and it is possible to help them. Everything donated to the Autism Society of Minnesota through the steps of hope walk, and other fundraising events they hold go directly to funding these therapies for these children and adults. I can't think of a better community to be involved in. 

I'm trying something completely out of Brock's norm this weekend, and surprising him with staying at a hotel in the cities for this weekend before the walk. We'll be able to do pool therapy still, and relax..and my biggest surprise is taking him to the Science Musuem. Brock is obsessed with space and I'm so fortunate to be able give him this experience that will help him with his future. He told me yesterday he was going to space someday..and my reply was if anyone could make it to space Brock you could. He has determination like no other. 

I was asked on a date by...

With all the talk of Valentines Day and Love this week it spiked a certain six year olds curiosity, and he had tons of questions about what people do on Valentines Day..I told him that a lot of people go on dates to which he asked if he could take me on one...my heart pretty much melted and I couldn't say no. So this afternoon we went out to lunch together, and he opened all the doors for me like a gentleman..and I gave him money beforehand because he insisted on paying. He wanted to drive too, and almost convinced me he was a good driver because he's an amazing story teller, but that won't happen for 10 more years. Which is a scary thought. I'm constantly reminded about how much God has blessed me, and he has profusely with this one. With therapies taking up almost every night of the week, I'm always left to focus on the things Brock can't do instead of what he can do. Which is painful for me because I am always trying to see the upside to everything, so it brings me down. This tiny request from Brock made me realize that he is making so much improvements in basic conversation by expressing his wants. And he honestly asks for so little that when he does I try to honor his requests as much as possible. Yesterday for example I was so unbelievably proud of him, they were having Valentines Day Parties at school and I made too many Valentines and on the way to drop him off I asked him what he'd think of handing them out to teachers in the hallway, he liked the idea, even when I said he might not know some of them..so it was a go. He didn't talk to any of the teachers just handed them off and practically ran, but it was huge for him because he has a lot of anxieties when it comes to social interactions. And everyone was great so it made me feel just an incredible sense of pride for Brock to face a fear head on. I absolutely love when Brock has breaks from school, even though my own work gets put on hold, because I feel like with everything else we truly don't get time together. So thank you Brock for taking me on my very first "real" date. I can honestly say I've never been on a real one before, even though it was obviously all in fun. Whenever I feel like I could be doing more God sends me these reminders that I'm doing something right when it comes to raising my child. Here we are before our fun date, sorry for the selfies but there's only the two of us so selfies are the way to go.

Brock-isms

My mom has been asking me forever to make a blog full of the funny things Brock has said or done over the years. It was hard to pick, but I chose 23..yeah there's plenty more, but I'm saving those for a project I've been working on...I was down with pneumonia last week, which gave me some free time I don't normally have to go through old journals, blogs, and Facebook posts. So mom, since you've been my biggest supporter/champion this is for you:

July 9, 2010
-So Brock came running out of the bathroom to tell me he 'poop in the potty'. I go running in the bathroom ALL EXCITED to find he left me Cheetos there instead.

February 1st, 2011
- Brock woke me up and gave me a big hug. I said to him, 'I love you Mr. Brock.' He looks at me and says, ''Aww I love ME too mommy.''

February 23rd, 2011
- I wake up to Brock with his radio on, and dancing at 3:30 a.m. I ask him what he's doing, and he says ''what mom I'm partying!" I told him it's time to go back to bed and he told me to go ahead and lay down, Brock will be OK.

March 3rd, 2011
- Ran into Walmart tonight to get a few things , and Brock saw diapers when we passed by that section. He says'' Mommy I need diapers''. I tell him he doesn't need diapers because we have plenty. A few minutes later a lady is talking to him and he tells this stranger that his mommy won't buy him diapers and he really needs to go potty. I never received a dirtier look from another person, than the one that stranger gave me.

September 16th, 2011
- At my sisters house and this guy came to pump the sewer. I stepped outside with Brock and he says to the guy ' Not fair, my mom won't let me poop outsid!"

January 17th, 2012
- When you ask me my sons name, and I tell you it's Brock, and you giggle and say like BARACK Obama, trust me I'm not laughing with you.

April 27th, 2012
- Apparently Brock got hungry during the middle of the night. Walked into his bedroom to check on him and he had lunch meat, crackers and a tub of peanut butter on his bed. He looked at me and said, what, I wanted breakfast but it's still dark out.

May 7th,2012
- Brock asked if he could eat some of my spicy peppers, and I let him know that kids usually don't like spicy foods. He says '' well some kids do. Don't say all kids, cause you don't know all the kids of the world.''

June 20th, 2012
- Who needs refrigerator/ freezer locks anyways? When a 3 year old wants breakfast, they want it now. Even if it consists of sitting on the kitchen floor-indian style, while digging his chubby hands in a big tub of ice cream at 6 a.m. So I did what any normal parent would do..grabbed some spoons and joined him.

July 29th, 2012
- Brock to his 3 day old cousin, Sienna, who was crying '' quiet sweetheart, you're annoying me!"

August 4th, 2012
-Awkward moment when Brock gets mistaken for a girl at the store. Even more awkward when he says, excuse me ma'am, I'm a boy, I stand when I go potty.''

October 18th, 2012
-i was telling Brock I needed to make him an appointment to cut his hair. Which is never fun. Brock says' mother, I can only look this good if YOU cut my hair.''

November 13, 2012
-Disciplining Brock would be so much easier if he wasnt so quick witted, and made me laugh so much. Watched him do something he wasnt suppose to, and when asked about it he says, ''Oh that? That wasn't me. That was the Brock next door..the one with the curly hair.'' Energy.please.kick.in.

November 28th, 2012
- Found a phone number that has a recorded message from Santa that kids can listen to. For months I've told Brock that I know Santa's phone number, and he didn't believe me. So today when "Santa'' called and said I know when you've been naughty or nice'' Brocks mouth dropped open and he says '' Oh shoot! You were right. I guess I can't be naughty anymore!" Evil or genius? You tell me.

December 26th, 2012
- I feel like I'm living the real life version of a musical right now. Lately Brock has turned every single thing he does into a song ''I'm going to the bathroom, I really have too gooooo'' Mooom I'm hungry, chicken sounds gooooood'' I'm really getting sleepy, can yoouu puuut meee toooo beeeed'' Just a few examples and unfortunately it's quite catchy'.

February 1st, 2013
-If you've ever wondered if you can teach a cat to sit, shake or fetch the answer is yes. Brock has been asking for a dog, and I told him he needs to be more responsible with our cats first. Well..he showed me. Well played Brock, well played.

February 10th, 2013
that awkward moment when Brock sings Lady GaGa's Bad Romance in my Bible Study Class.

February 19th, 2013
-Brock has officially out pranked me. This morning he was complaining he wasn't feeling well, and went running into the bathroom. A few minutes later he was saying OUCH! OUCH! Followed by some less than pleasant sounds. I walk into check on him and find him sitting on the floor playing with the fart sounds app on my tablet, laughing hysterically at me. Boys. Are. So. Gross.

April 16th, 2013
-i dyed my moms hair today, and when Brock saw it he told her Grandma! Now you don't look so much like an old lady! That boy sure knows how to lay on the charm.

May 10th, 2013
-Brock is officially my garage sale-ing side kick. He bargained down a price on a toy he wanted all on his own. Hearing him say will you take five for it, has never made me more proud. Either that, or he'll make an excellent salesman someday.

May 15th, 2013
- caught a softball with my face last night. Woke up to my right eye and cheek black and swollen. I look like I have two cheekbones on one cheek. Brock said , wow mommy, you need to do your makeup better you look like a raccoon.

January 25th, 2013
out for lunch with Brock and he had to tell every girl he saw that she was beautiful. Yeah that will be trouble when he's older.

December 23rd, 2013
-Brocks over-used excuse of the week, ''I'm only being naughty cause I want to see if Santa really won't bring me a present if I'm bad.''