Sunday, November 30, 2014
Autism AFFECTS you too
Yes, you read that right. If you associate with my child in any way, shape, or form Autism affects you too. Maybe everytime you talk to my child you think he's being rude , or doesn't like you. He isn't and he does. Brock doesn't know how to communicate like you, and I do. He tries his damnest to escape his world for a minute so he can fit into yours each time he has a conversation. Autism has affected you that way. Maybe you try to avoid him at times because all he talks about is space and pokemon endlessly, or you brush off conversations. Don't. Try bringing up topics you enjoy so he can learn about you. Open a door so he knows that YOU like him. Brock doesn't understand social cues, so he won't know when you're bored. Who knows, you might bring on a new interest for him, and than you'll have something in common. Autism has affected you that way. Even though he's only six his mind holds so many fascinating facts. Maybe your child goes to school with Brock, and he's made them cry. Just know that Brock would never intentionally hurt someone, he has a heart of gold. It's ok to be upset with my child for hurting yours. I'm doing my best by bringing him to therapy to learn proper social skills so he can interact better with your child. Autism has affected you that way. Maybe you've seen us out in public and you think my child is being a brat, and I'm letting him get away with things. I'm not. We do things differently than you. While it wouldn't work for your child it works for mine. You may try to step in, please don't unless I ask for your help. You may think it's your right as a fellow parent to step in, but it isn't. I'm not being rude, I just don't want the situation to escalate, because I know my childs triggers. If you see me at a store sitting beside a clothes rack trying to coax my child out, instead of shooting dirty looks, come sit by me and talk about inconsiquential things if you feel compelled to do anything. Autism has affected you that way. If you're a close family member or friend and wonder why Brock seems to love you one minute, and wanta nothing to do with you the next, he doesn't. Brock loves with his whole heart even if he can't express it the same. I also feel like Brock doesn't like me at times. I just know how to read his body language. Brock hardly shows me affection and I'm his mother, I get the hurt. This past week Brock told me he likes me because I'm safe and warm. That's huge for him because his perception of relationships is all wrong. He doesn't understand how permanent they are. For him to recognize I'm safe and warm is much biger than any I love you's. The whole reason I started this blog was to raise awareness for autism, and that starts with the people closest to him. I don't expect people to change their lives around for Brock, but I expect understanding. I know the world doesn't revolve around us, but my world revolves around Brock. I've lost a lot of people along this journey. I get it, it's a lot of work to be in our lives. I can't put my 50/50 into relationships because Brock has 100% of me. I get the frustrations of cancelled plans, or always having to leave early, it frustrates me too. Autism has affected you that way. I hold no ill will. Autism is not a blessing, although I'm blessed we received a proper diagnosis. I've had to grieve the loss of what I thought my life as a parent would be like, because it's never going to be that way. I'm overcome with joy for all the new oppurtunties out there to help my child succeed. Autism isn't a blessing because i see my child struggle everyday. He can't dress himself, bathe himself, brush his own teeth or hair. He can't walk like you, talk like you, or eat like you. Even though mentally Brock is a six year old, developmentally he's three. That may not seem like a big age gap, but it is. I see Brocks real fears that lead to meltdowns over everyday things. Autism isn't a blessing because it's heartbreaking. Brock will probably need a lifetime of therapy to lead a normal life like you, and I. I will go to every 5k, charity event, and listen to every Autism speaker that comes my way to raise awareness. 1 in 66 kids have Autism, that number is huge. There are very limited resources to help this kids. We have been very lucky to live in an area with more resources than most, and a school system that knows how to work with autism because most don't. Each person who reads my blog becomes a little more informed each time, who may previously not have known. Maybe you'll see that bratty kid at the store next time, and stop and think before shooting daggers. I like spreading awareness that way. Or maybe you'll meet another kid like Brock along the way, and hear someone talking about how bratty he is, and how the parent(s) have no control and you can correct them. Because by knowing a child who has Autism you are affected, and by becoming informed you can help too by the smallest (but no less important) gestures.